Corgenius - Blog , General

Grief-Related Resources for You and Your Clients

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 12:28:11 -0500

I’ve recently discovered several grief-related resources that may be useful to you and your clients, and wanted to share:

The Jewish Journey through Loss: From Death to Healing by Batya Ludman and Gina Junger
Authors Batya Ludman, a bereavement-focused clinical psychologist, and Gina Junger, an expert Torah scholar, wrote this comprehensive tool for comfort and healing from the perspective of the Jewish tradition. This book is not a description of Judaism’s prescribed structure regarding death and grief, but rather, addresses the emotional experience of a griever during the year of official mourning after a death. Importantly, it also addresses the anticipatory grief that begins when a loved one is noticeably unwell, and the enduring experience of loss that occurs into the second year of grief and beyond. It could be quite helpful to your Jewish clients.
Two books focused on divorce:

This is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe
Written by a developmental psychologist, this book uses a series of essays to explore the process of letting go of someone/something and moving on, especially when we don't feel ready to do so. It is honest, forthright, and helpful, and it's also available as an audio book. I recommend it especially for anyone going through a “surprise” or unwanted divorce.

No One Dies From Divorce: How to Survive and Thrive When Your Marriage Fails by Jill Coil
This highly regarded divorce lawyer uses her many years of experience to offer solid guidance, wisdom, and hope for moving on from a marriage in positive ways. She begins even before the divorce itself, with tips for the decision-making process. There’s also pertinent advice on kids and custody. Your divorcing clients can use it as a guide for self-reflection and discovery to help build a better future.

A new online platform called Heirloom provides a comprehensive and sophisticated program for walking an executor through the estate settlement process from beginning to end. It details every step necessary, with education, tools, resources, and checklists that track completion of tasks. Particularly for clients or their family members serving as executors who have little or no experience, Heirloom could result in significant savings by preventing costly mistakes, uncovering assets, and guiding the process. You can learn more and see how it works by getting a 7-day free trial at the Heirloom website here.

There are more resources available all the time. These are worth reviewing and may be valuable additions to the support you offer clients navigating loss and transition.

Help "Slam the Scam" for Your Clients

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 11:52:55 -0600

Thursday, March 5 is National Slam the Scam Day. Even if it weren’t, this is a good time of year to remind your clients to be vigilant about scams and phishing, particularly those centering on taxes, the IRS, or Social Security.

You may think your clients are too smart to fall for scams, but did you know that 18% of cognitively intact adults – almost 1 in 5 – have been victimized? And with AI now able to generate thousands of scams a day, the risk is only increasing. It’s no longer enough to look for misspellings, bad grammar, or unusual lettering. In fact, scammers using AI can authentically mimic an email from a bank or government entity. They can also gain personal information and create a good imitation of a family member’s voice by sampling their social media posts. Several members of the widowed support group I facilitate have been victimized by various schemes like these.

There are a number of things you can do to help your clients.

Every time you send a newsletter to clients, include a tip about scams or phishing.
Create a branded, laminated page listing the most common scams and phishing schemes and put a refrigerator magnet on the back of it so clients can keep it close at hand for easy reference. (Besides, it’s not bad advertising for you when others see it!)
Include the “red flags” – i.e. demand for immediate payment “or else,” payment via unusual methods like gift cards or cryptocurrency, instructions to wire or transfer funds in order to “keep them safe,” a call from a grandchild who needs immediate funds, a requirement to keep a conversation or relationship secret, a request to verify details about a financial account, etc.
Instruct clients to verify emails and calls independently by calling the bank, the grandchild, or the friend, and never to click on links or give information over the phone to an unrecognized number.
Subscribe yourself to the AARP Fraud Watch Network, which informs you of the most common scams being reported in your area. (You don’t need to be a member.)
Also check the IRS Tax Scams Consumer Alerts
Know where to report:
For tax scams - https://www.irs.gov/help/tax-scams/report-a-tax-scam-or-fraud
For Social Security scams - oig.ssa.gov
For internet scams - https://ic3.gov

Do whatever you can to protect your clients and their family members from being victimized. It’s the right thing to do, and it builds trust and loyalty when they know you’ve got their backs.

Aging and End-of-Life Support: A Tool to Know

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 16:10:52 -0500

As financial advisors, many of you serve a growing number of clients navigating age-related transitions, including caregiving for a parent, evaluating senior housing options, or planning for end-of-life care. These moments are often emotionally charged and time-sensitive, and while they may not fall within your official job description, they can quickly land in your office. Yet, if you are equipped with the proper tools and resources, these issues provide the opportunity to distinguish yourself from other advisors by offering exceptional service.

I recently discovered a new resource called bQuest and I’m impressed with its potential usefulness. bQuest is a comprehensive care coordination platform designed specifically for advisors and their clients. It offers a centralized portal with access to nearly 200 vetted aging and end-of-life professionals across 20 categories ranging from care managers and hospice liaisons to estate support services and senior living advisors. It also includes educational resources such as articles, book recommendations, and videos covering aging-related issues.

Importantly, unlike many other such platforms, bQuest does not operate on a referral-fee or pay-to-play model. Providers are included solely based on evaluations of the provider’s experience, service, and fit. That doesn’t guarantee a perfect experience with every referral, of course, but it does help reduce bias in the process.

Clients can self-navigate the portal, or you can connect clients with specific provider recommendations. Either way, your firm remains part of the conversation, and you reinforce your role as a trusted advisor providing total-life service and guidance, not just investment advice.

Since bQuest revenue does not come from the recommended resources, there is a subscription fee. And as with any tool, it may not be the right fit for every firm. But for advisors looking to set themselves apart by adding practical, structured support for their clients during one of the most complex phases of life, it’s worth a look.

Also remember that it’s often adult children who do the research for their parents’ needs, not the parents themselves. To ensure a seamless experience, then, let every client from middle age onward know that you have this resource available to them whenever the need arises.

You can learn more at https://thebquest.com

A Resource to Share with Clients: A Window into Widowhood

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 15:24:19 -0500

A moving new short-form documentary premiered on International Widow Day offering a glimpse into the lives of widowed men and women navigating life after profound loss.Camp Widow, produced by Emmy-winning filmmaker Michèle Stephenson and distributed by ITVS, follows the stories of attendees at one of Soaring Spirits’ signature events – a weekend-long gathering designed to bring connection, understanding, and healing to those who have lost a spouse or partner.

I’ve worked with Soaring Spirits for years, both behind the scenes and on stage. I’ve led workshops and spoken at Camp Widow many times as part of my pro bono work because I so deeply believe in the mission. I’m honored to have a small role in the film, and even more honored to help amplify the voices and experiences it captures.

The documentary reminds us that grief is not something to be rushed through, kept hidden, or carried alone.I encourage you to share this film with clients, colleagues, and loved ones who’ve lost a partner. You never know what small gesture might make someone feel a little less alone. And watching it yourself can help you better serve them.

Note, too, that there will be a one-day Camp Widow on September 20 in a Chicago suburb, and on November 15 in Washington, DC. Get more information here. It’s one of the few spaces where the unique grief of widowhood is truly seen and supported.

Being a compassionate, steady presence in someone’s hardest moments is not only an act of kindness, it also builds trust and loyalty that lasts. When clients feel truly seen and supported, they remember. Not because you had all the answers, but because you didn’t turn away. At just 15 minutes, this film is a simple but meaningful way to show your clients that you care about them as human beings, not just numbers in a portfolio.

Watch The Documentary Here

Finding Unbiased Senior Living Recommendations

Thu, 29 May 2025 14:40:01 -0500

America is aging. Between 2010 and 2020, the number of people aged 65 and older grew by 38.6%– (U.S. Census Bureau). With this demographic shift, the demand for senior care is skyrocketing. Whether you’re searching for a loved one, a client, or even planning for your own future, finding the right senior living community is an increasingly relevant challenge.

To help families navigate options, online directories like A Place for Mom, Caring.com, AssistedLiving.org, and MemoryCare.com have become popular. These sites appear to be excellent resources, and I have recommended several of them. However, I recently became aware of a conflict of interest that may factor into their recommendations. These and most other senior care websites operate on a referral fee model. This means that senior living providers pay a fee when a new resident joins after being directed there by one of these sites.

To be fair, these platforms need revenue to function, and they still provide you with useful information. But it's important to recognize that their recommendations may not be entirely objective. There may be a bias toward care providers who pay the most. And if a high-quality senior care provider chooses not to participate in the referral system, they may not be included – or may be less visible.

An Unbiased Alternative: ECDOL.org

For senior care recommendations free from financial influence, I introduce you to an alternative: the Excellent Care, Decency, & Optimal Living organization

– ECDOL.org. ECDOL is unique in that they do not receive payment from the providers they recommend. ECDOL is part of the healthcare organization Drug Rehab Services (DRS), which operates as a for-profit entity. The profits from DRS are used to fund its various initiatives, including the non-profit education platform SUPE (Substance Use Prevention Education) and the ECDOL website, meaning ECDOL operates without direct monetization, focusing solely on providing unbiased information and resources on senior care.

On the site you’ll find an extensive state-by-state directory of senior living providers, with filters for care type, features, amenities, and accreditations. They also have an educational resources section with articles on senior care and other senior concerns.

Why This Matters for Financial Professionals

For those working with clients in financial planning, helping them navigate senior care is a meaningful way to add value beyond numbers. By recommending ECDOL, you’re not just providing a resource – you’ve also gone the next step to ensure it’s the most unbiased one available, thus setting yourself apart as a trusted advisor.

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Reevaluating Bereavement Leave: A Workplace Necessity

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 15:35:00 -0500

A recent study by This Can Happen Global, an organization dedicated to supporting mental health in employees, revealed that current bereavement leave policies are falling short for many employees. 51% of respondents who had experienced a bereavement felt unsupported by their organizations, 46% said they didn’t have enough time to grieve, and 32% felt pressured to return to work. These numbers are from the UK, but in general, UK companies actually offer more bereavement leave than in the US, plus the UK has several laws that the US does not have mandating bereavement leave. Therefore, satisfaction rates in the U.S. are likely even less favorable than in the UK.

For those of you who lead or manage an RIA, large branch office, or any office with multiple advisors and staff, these statistics highlight a crucial area for improvement in your workplace policies. Bereavement leave that offers only minimal time off can leave people feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, unsupported, and disconnected. How excited are they to stay at a firm like that?

Another caution: Many policies are very rigid regarding “allowable” relationships. Consider the fact, though, that many families are broken, blended, or conflicted. If someone has been raised by their aunt rather than their actual parent, the death of that aunt triggers profound grief deserving of greater leave time. I’ve seen many other cases in which a best friend was significantly more important than a sibling. Even in healthy families, the death of a young child or of a spouse certainly requires more than the minimum time off.

Now is the time to advocate for better bereavement policies that reflect the reality and diversity of grief. Not only is extending and creating more flexibility in bereavement leave the right thing to do on a human level, it’s beneficial for the company’s bottom line as well. Grieving people literally cannot think as clearly or concentrate as well. It’s not a refusal to focus on work; it’s a normal, expected chemical response in the brain. Consider that a substantial 76% of employees in the survey “felt that their loss had affected their performance at work in their immediate return.” With a longer time to grieve, employees are more likely to return to work engaged, focused, and productive.

In addition to revisiting leave policies, it’s important to train managers and leaders to respond empathetically to grief in the workplace, so employees feel understood and supported during personal crises. All of the training and guidance that Corgenius provides in serving your grieving clients also applies to supporting your grieving advisors, staff, and co-workers.

Open communication, flexible policies, and a supportive environment are key to helping employees manage their grief without added stress. Doing so helps create workplaces where emotional well-being is prioritized, benefiting both employees and the organization. Together, let’s be drivers of change to improve bereavement leave policies at our places of work.

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The Newly Approved Alzheimer’s Drug - What You and Your Clients Need to Know

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 11:45:15 -0500

You may have seen news reports of a new drug, Kisunla, approved for treating Alzheimer's. The following information should help you talk with clients about it, and perhaps also help you within your own family.

Keep in mind that no drug cures Alzheimer's, reverses symptoms already present, or even permanently manages it in the way that, for example, blood pressure and cholesterol drugs manage their respective conditions. Every Alzheimer’s drug serves only to slow the progression of symptoms for a period of time, ranging from a few months to perhaps a couple of years, until the disease takes over again.

This is the third drug approved in the last couple of years, which is remarkable given that the last drug approved before these was in 2003. Of the recent three, though, one (Aduhelm) has already been discontinued. Many researchers questioned whether it should have been approved in the first place, and in further testing it did not prove to be effective.

The other two – Leqembi (Lecanemab) which was approved in January of 2024 and the just-approved Kisunla (Donanemab) – are very similar to each other. Both of them:

Are antibodies administered only through IV infusions
Target beta amyloid plaques in the brain
Are only effective in the earliest stages of Alzheimer’s. Several older drugs show some slowing of symptoms in moderate cases, and there is one drug for severe cases.
Show a 20-29% slowing of symptom progression temporarily, a decline that family members may barely notice
Caused brain swelling and bleeding in about 20% of patients. Highest risk is for those who previously had 4 or more micro-bleeds in the brain, and those with the APOE-4 gene that is closely associated with susceptibility to Alzheimer’s. Some experts believe the risks outweigh the benefits, and most wouldn’t prescribe it to someone with two copies of APOE-4.
Require that patients have a brain scan to determine their level of amyloid plaques, and then repeated scans to monitor both bleeding and amyloid levels
Are expensive - $26,500/yr for Leqembi; $32,000/yr for Kisunla. Medicare and some insurance plans cover them in whole or in part, but require evidence that the patient is appropriate for this treatment.

A few differences:

Lequembi infusions are twice a month and Kisunla once a month (requiring fewer trips to a drug infusion center)
Patients may stop taking Kisunla once amyloid reduces sufficiently, a point that half of trial patients reached within a year and 69% in 18 months. No evidence exists yet on how long a patient could stay off before needing to resume infusions or how stopping affects symptom progression.

Bottom line: It’s good news to have more drugs approved. There are many cautions about them, however, and their efficacy is limited, so it is wise to keep one’s expectations for improvement in line with reality.

Research continues on drugs that target amyloid plaques, as well as those targeting tau tangles and neuroinflammation. Please consider joining clinical trials that further the research. See www.alz.org for many options, encompassing those who are currently fully cognitive to those in early stages who are willing to test drug effectiveness. We hope that eventually we may have more tools to use in the treatment of this devastating disease.

- Featured Article - Different rooms: The reality of loss, the possibility of healing and the gift that love itself never recedes

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 11:47:57 -0500

Recently, I was quoted extensively in an article for the Daily Herald newspaper. It is available here, but requires a subscription.

Here is a repost of the article contents, enjoy!

Different rooms: The reality of loss, the possibility of healing and the gift that love itself never recedes
By John Lampinen. Published in the Daily Herald, the newspaper of NW Chicago Suburbs. June 9, 2024. Reprinted with permission.

In the May issue of The Atlantic, political pundit David Frum writes exquisitely about his efforts to cope with the unexpected death in February of his 32-year-old daughter Miranda.

“The nights are the worst,” he writes. “Thoughts come crashing into the mind: every missed medical clue, every pleasure needlessly denied, every word of impatience, every failure of insight and understanding. Like seasickness, the grief ebbs and surges, intervals of comparative calm punctuated by spasms of racking pain.”

So poignant. Such a natural, perhaps unavoidable human response. Intimate grief, Frum called it, and I like the phrase. Not all grief is alike. Some grief is relatively gentle to pack and carry as a kind, somewhat occasional companion.

But grief over the loss of a child, grief over the loss of a spouse... those indeed are intimate griefs that change your life. In an interview later with MSNBC, one of several outlets that reached out to him after publication of his column, Frum described it as a “grief that perseveres, grief that won't give up.”

Long-term grief columnist Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has called it “a type of grief that doesn't go away.” How do you find comfort wrapped inside such intimate grief? “There is a sacredness in tears,” 19th century writer Washington Irving observed. “They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”

Coincidentally, The Atlantic article appeared on the sixth anniversary of our publication of “Last Kiss,” a series that explored the grief that inevitably confronts almost every couple: the loss of a spouse.

In Frum, we hear such echoes. The loudest echo: “One of the things I'm really struck by,” Frum said in that MSNBC interview, “is how many people who have an intimate loss like this describe afterward a feeling of loneliness. Because grief, if you're not the grieving person, is very hard to deal with. People are so afraid of saying the wrong thing so they say nothing. They can treat the grieving person as something of a pariah.”

In our 2018 research for “Last Kiss,” we were struck repeatedly by the isolation survivors felt after the condolences stopped in the days, weeks and months after the memorial services. Friends and relatives move on to life as normal; the intimate survivor does not. “The survivors suffer this loss largely in solitude,” our own columnist Jim Slusher quoted me as saying back then. “It is such a great lonely grief.”

How — ever — does a survivor move past that? There are no easy answers, but it starts with friends and relatives: Check in on occasion, even as the days roll by; don't assume that this is a grief that fades. Understand that outward cheerfulness can mask inner heartache. As poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.”

And for the survivor: Reach out, even as time goes by. Help those who love you do what they can. As to the middle-of-the-night second guessing, yes, it is natural. But also pointless. Embrace the love you shared; pay tribute to that bond, not to human imperfections. Trust us, those imperfections were not among your loved one's last thoughts.

Psychologist J. William Worden offers “Four Tasks of Grief” for those seeking to heal: One, accept the reality of the loss; two, process the pain of grief; three, adjust to a world in which the deceased person is missing; and four, find an enduring connection with the deceased while embarking on a new life.

Be comforted to know that, as the great poet Maya Angelou counseled, “After a period, peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.” Helen Keller explained the healing this way: “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

Becomes a part of us. We like that. We like the inspiration and the truth of it. We are, each of us, testaments to the lives of those we have loved.

As to Frum's grief, he centers his healing around taking care of Miranda's dog Ringo. “Love has to go somewhere,” he said in that broadcast interview. “You can't just put it in the ground. You can't spend your life suffering, although you will suffer. You have to find a way to take the love you felt for her and direct it, to make things beautiful, care for the things that were important to her.”

Amy Florian, now of Hoffman Estates and a member of our Editorial Board's advisory panel, became a widow more than 30 years ago when her first husband was killed in a car crash. “Everybody feels that their future is gone,” Florian told us long ago. “That's actually not true. Your future is not gone. It's just going to be a completely different future than you had planned.”

The trauma prompted her to pursue academic study of grief, and she's become a nationally renowned expert on loss and healing, an award-winning author of several books on the topic including “A Friend Indeed: Help Those You Love When They Grieve” and a consultant who helps businesses deal with work-related grief issues.

“Our society seems to think the goal is to put it behind you and get on with life,” Florian says. “That's not the goal. You never take someone you love, put them in a convenient box marked 'Past' and leave them behind while you go on. And you never forget. You're not supposed to forget. They're a part of you quite literally — the proteins in your brain folded in a certain way in response to your attachment to them and those proteins never unfold.

“Although you do have to let go of what can no longer be — you won't get their hug, hear their laugh in person, watch that show together — you create memories and stories, and you carry them with you for the rest of your life. You carry their life with you, you carry their love with you, you carry who you have become because this person was in your life and loved you. You are forever changed.

“In that sense, the grief never ends, but the pain subsides, the grief changes, you cherish the past without living in it, and life becomes wonderful again. You can go on, heal, find new purpose, build a life worth living that honors their memory and what you learned from their life and death, and reconnect with joy.

“There will never be a time when you stop wondering what life would be like if they were still alive, or when you never cry again. You can always get a wave of emotion. It happens less and less often and it is less and less intense over time, but it's a good thing that it can still happen years later. It means you're carrying them with you.”

Our hearts, like the hearts of so many, go out to Frum and to all those who grieve. To them, let us today offer this faithful comfort from Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho: “We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us. They don't disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.”

Yes. With us. But in different rooms.

Fraud Schemes and How to Protect Clients from Them

Sun, 24 Mar 2024 16:10:57 -0500

March 3-9 is National Consumer Protection Week and a great to time to increase awareness around scams and fraud. Financial fraud can have devastating consequences, sometimes causing irreparable damage to an individual's savings and overall financial stability. Older clients may be particularly vulnerable to scams as they tend to be less aware of the intricacies of online security or the latest scam tactics. But the trust that young people place in the internet makes them susceptible as well. No matter the age of your clients, don’t wait for fraud to strike. Take proactive steps now to safeguard clients of all ages against it.

I recommend creating a laminated list including the top scams and steps to prevent them. Put a refrigerator magnet on it and give one to all clients so they can keep it in full view at home. For the ideas what to include, see these two reports:

Experian: https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/the-latest-scams-you-need-to-aware-of

Better Business Bureau: https://www.bbbmarketplacetrust.org/riskreport

Then include a list of preventive tips like these:

Be Skeptical: Look with skepticism on every unsolicited email, phone call, or offer. Reject any that demand immediate action, seems too good to be true, or require clicking on a link to see or sign something, even if it appears to be from someone you know.
Verify Identity and Credentials: NEVER click on a link unless you verify it independently from the email or text. For instance, if you get a message from your bank, call the bank independently to ask if it is legitimate. If you get a message that appears to be from a friend or that has no subject line and includes a link, DO NOT reply to the email but call or email your friend separately to verify. This is especially important if it involves financial transactions or sensitive information.
Secure Communication Channels: Don’t share personal or financial information over unsecured networks or channels, such as public Wi-Fi, texts, or unencrypted websites.
Protect Personal Information: Zealously guard your personal and financial information. Never share details like Social Security numbers, bank account information, or passwords via email, text, or unsolicited requests. Only fraudsters operate this way.
Use Strong Passwords and Security Measures: Use strong, unique passwords for every online account. Keep track of them in a password management program. Enable two-factor authentication or an authorization app whenever possible for added protection.
Watch Your Statements: Carefully go through your financial transactions, account statements, and medical/Medicare EOB’s to find and report any unauthorized or suspicious activity.
Trust Your Instincts: If something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts and delete it. It's better to err on the side of caution than to fall victim to a scam.
If you still aren’t sure, call us! Forward a suspicious email, call to get our experienced opinion, and rely on our firm to help keep you safe. That’s what we’re here for.

When you give clients a list like this and make proactive discussions about scams a central part of your client engagements, you empower your clients with essential information and let them know you’ve got their back. An added benefit: When their family, friends, and neighbors see your branded list on the client’s refrigerator, they will ask about an advisor who cares about and protects clients. What have you got to lose?

A Better Phrase than "Thoughts and Prayers"

Thu, 21 Mar 2024 17:07:22 -0500

“Thoughts and Prayers." I’m sure you’ve seen (and used) the phrase to sign off on a card or to post on social media when responding to a death, illness, or other difficulty. It used to be seen as a sincere and well-received wish. However, when it became the ubiquitous response to mass shootings, that changed. Many recipients criticized the words as hollow when not paired with concrete actions that they felt helped the situation. Since then, no matter how sincere you are, and even if offered in far less contentious situations, "thoughts and prayers" is no longer an ideal phrase to use. But what do you say instead? How can you be thoughtful and comforting without sounding trite?

If your faith tradition is such that prayer is a part of your daily life, you can still offer prayers. When you do, though, instead of saying “Thoughts and Prayers”, name specific things you’re praying for. For instance, “I’m praying for you as you cope with this, that you may be given strength to endure, wisdom to know what to do, and courage to face an uncertain future.” Or “I pray that you will be given all you need to get through this, and that over time your heart may heal.” Or “I pray that even when you can’t feel it, your heart will know you are being held in God’s strong, loving hands.” Or whatever language and names for the Divine make sense to you in your faith.

One danger of using faith language, though, is that you assume the recipient shares your perspective. What if you are unsure of their faith, or if you know for certain that they are agnostic or atheist?
You can write: "In my faith tradition, I always pray for the people I care about who are going through tough times. It's my way of offering support, concern, and comfort. So today, I am praying for.... (patience, wisdom, strength, decent sleep, etc.) I am right here in your corner." Or you can you the words “wish” or “may you” as an alternative to “pray,” such as “I wish you comfort in this most difficult time,” or “May you find strength and healing as you face this challenging journey. You are not alone.”
Another option that eliminates the faith aspect is to say “My heart is with you” or “My heart breaks for you” or “You are never far from my heart and my mind” or simply “I am here for you throughout this difficult time”.

Then, of course, if geography and nature of relationship allow, take actions that help. Don’t tell them to “call me anytime,” because that puts the onus on them to take the vulnerable step of asking for help. Instead, be proactive and you call them on a regular basis to check in and just listen. Call or text to say that you’re going to the grocery store and ask if they need toilet paper, tissues, or food items that you can pick up for them. Ask which day you can take them out for coffee or help them with a task around the house. Even little things are greatly appreciated. Do whatever you can to follow up on your good wishes and prove them to be true.